Episode 2: Fr. Joshua Deters

In this episode of Cup of St. Joe, host Suz Entzeroth sits down with our associate pastor, Fr. Joshua Deters, for an inspiring conversation about faith, conversion, and the surprising ways God calls us to Himself.

Growing up just minutes from St. Joseph Parish, Fr. Deters shares his journey from a divided religious upbringing and a directionless college experience to a life-changing encounter with Christ that led him home to the Catholic Church. Hear how his search for truth, his love of learning, and a growing devotion to Our Lady ultimately opened his heart to the priesthood.

Along the way, enjoy personal stories, reflections on discerning God's will, insights into priestly life, and a few fun facts—including his strong opinions on pugs, hockey, and cooking at the rectory.

Grab a cup of coffee and join us as we continue Cup of St. Joe—a podcast dedicated to sharing the faith stories and the personal witness of our parish community, one cup at a time.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:01

Hello, I'm Suze Enzeroth, the host of Cup of St. Joe, a podcast where we explore the faith stories and personal witness of the St. Joe's codible parish. Today's episode, I'll be interviewing Father Dieters, and I can't wait for you guys to hear it. So grab a cup of coffee and enjoy. Okay, so I like to start every episode with an icebreaker question.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 0:24

So if you could go back in time, you have a DeLorean. Or you can go, I guess, into the future too. So if you had a DeLorean right now, you can go forward or backwards in time. Where would you go in the time and why? And I thought about eliminating the time of Jesus because I feel like that's the obvious answer. Yeah. Like go back when Jesus was you know doing his ministry. So I'm gonna, just for the sake of this, we can't go back to that time.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 0:51

So where would you go in in history and why?

SPEAKER_00 0:54

All right. Someone actually did ask me this question recently, and um I did choose a time of Jesus. So Yeah, I knew you'd say that. Yeah. It's the obvious choice. It is the obvious choice. But um, you know, I think uh if I could go forward into the future, you know, um, I would probably just go to I don't know, the end of my life, you know, whenever that might be. And uh see how it is that I go. And um, you know, if there's anybody there with me, or you know, is there people praying, whatever? Um Do I have a rosary in my hand? And just to be able to see that moment, I think would be it would be enlightening, you know. Um so I guess that's what I'd pick.

SPEAKER_04 1:40

Would you change any if you knew when you were gonna die, would that change how you live your life now? If you go because you're coming back to your current state.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

I think it would definitely change you know, if I find out I'm dying next week, yeah. Um But uh yeah, I think it would be it would be helpful, you know, it's probably for good reason that we, you know, are we don't know like you know, Jesus seems to say like live every day as if it could be the last day. It's true. You know, like he the apostles are like, you know, thinking what you know, is it gonna be soon that you'll return? And they think maybe in their own lifetimes. And he doesn't discourage that, I think. So to try to live that way, I think is is good. Whereas if I know, okay, I've got another 50 years, sixty years, you know, um, maybe I would not have the sense of urgency. So it's probably good to to not know.

SPEAKER_04 2:35

Yeah, it'd be it would be kinda unique to know, like it would be nice, but at the same time, it's kind of like but then you'd be like stressed, like, did I live today the the fullest that I could possibly live? But I don't know. Personally, I don't know if I would want to know because I would stress about it. But that's me. Like I think I would be stressed if I knew when I was gonna die.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Does it have you ever seen the movie Big Fish? There's a movie Big Fish.

SPEAKER_04 2:58

I I have, but it's been a really long time.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Yeah, he like this kid, he encounters this like witch, I guess. Um and she like asks him if he wants to know when how when and how he's gonna die, and so he knows, so he learns it, and uh it ends up giving him a lot of courage, you know. So he interests because he's like, This is not how I die, you know, this ain't how I go. So he goes through all these like kind of yeah, yeah, dangerous things.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

That's yeah, that's true. I guess if you knew I'm not gonna die in this situation, because I know when I'm gonna die, then you'd be able to do more things that are courageous or jump off a building.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

I'm not gonna die.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:34

Okay, that's that's a good answer. I I would not have thought that you would have gone forward. I would have thought you would have gone backwards.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Yeah, well, if I could go to the time of Christ, I would have gone backwards. Well, everyone would say that. I'm not sure if there's anything else I could go. I mean, you can go to the history of the church or you know, yeah, medieval period and see the saints and things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:50

Okay. So we'll go ahead and get started with the interview. So start with your full name, okay, your age, and then where you grew up, and then tell us about your family life growing up.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

So my full name is Father Joshua Stephen Dieters. Stephen named after my father, Steven Dieters. Um, and I grew up about like a five-minute drive away from here at the parish. So Really? Uh yeah, if you just go down N towards K, um Bright, a subdivision right down that way. Um, so I grew up at the until like third grade, I was in so it's called Morgan Oaks. It's right across from Cottle Village now, like where Cottle Village is, like directly across N.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

That subdivision, and then we moved to another home that connects to that subdivision in Avondale Heights subdivision.

SPEAKER_04 4:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

Um, so real close by, which you know, I I didn't realize that I'd be sent right back to where I came from as a priest. But it's it's been nice, you know. So I know the area, like I know all the roads and things. Yeah. Um, so from really close by here, my family life growing up was um so my parents separated uh shortly after my birth. And so my dad actually lived like in Old Town, closer to Old Town St. Charles, uh like right off Elm by 370. Um, so I would go back and forth growing up. Um, and my mom was Protestant uh and my dad Catholic. So I would go to Mass uh every other week because I'd be with my dad every other weekend. So I'd go to Mass every other week, and then I would go to a Protestant service every other week, and my mom kind of bounced around a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 5:37

Which Catholic churches you go down somewhere near Elm?

SPEAKER_00 5:40

Uh Barmayo, St. Charles Barmayo. Okay. And uh yeah, just kind of typical, like love playing sports, soccer, um, video games, hanging out with my friends. And I went to public school. I went to Fort Zumwalt West High School. Oh nice. Um and the Fort Zumwalt district for grade school.

SPEAKER_04 5:59

How would you say your faith formation was when you were younger, like the grade school age, because you were bouncing back forth, Protestant, Catholic?

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

What kind of things did you see difference-wise from going to the Catholic versus the Protestant, and like how did that form you in your faith life?

SPEAKER_00 6:15

I I think that um, you know, so so St. Charles Barmayo was a beautiful church, um, nice church there. And uh it was very different, you know, my two my experiences were very different, and I always had a lot of questions. And I would kind of I, for whatever reason, maybe just temperamentally or um because of the situation, I was very argumentative with my folks and about religion and and like politics and stuff, um, and their disagreements. So I was kind of questioning them a lot about it, but um I didn't have much of like a formal faith education. I didn't go to youth groups, um, I didn't do like PSR. So I mean I learned like like um I would pray with my, you know, especially uh my dad would like lead me in prayers like at night, you know, before I went to sleep. Um so I had some foundation, you know, maybe more than I realized until much later in life. So there was a foundation there in Christianity, but I had I had very little understanding of, you know, like the divinity of Christ, um, what that means. Um I just knew that the two were different, and it seemed like it seemed to me like the Catholic faith was a little more serious. Um and you know, I I like uh I know some great Protestants and and the Protestant church um did a lot for me, especially in college. But it seemed like especially like priests being celibate, you know, I'm like these guys have given their lives up for this. Um and yeah, it just seemed to me in general to be a little bit more deep and and serious. Um so I kind of had a desire for Catholicism, but it wasn't yeah, it uh mostly I just wanted to like not go to church and hang out with my friends and play sports and things.

SPEAKER_04 8:13

Um as many of us did when we were young. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Yeah, like going to mass, it's you know, an hour in mass seemed like an eternity.

SPEAKER_04 8:20

Right.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

Um I hated it. So um yeah, so not a ton of formation. And and as soon as like my parents stopped forcing me to go, which is you know, early teen years, I was ready to not go to church at that point.

SPEAKER_04 8:34

Um so when would you say that you kind of fell into your faith or your your love of your faith?

SPEAKER_00 8:42

I this it's it started in college, so um went to Missouri State as we were talking about earlier. Go bad. And yeah. Um so my first couple, so I joined a fraternity and um I didn't really I I went to college not really knowing what I wanted to do with my life. You know, it was just like college is the thing that you do.

SPEAKER_04 9:03

Right. You know, you're figuring it out as you're going through it.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

That's what they you know, it was like just assume that everyone go to college. Yeah, you know, which you know is not the smartest thing, but I was like, well, I'll just go to someplace.

SPEAKER_04 9:13

It's a very expensive thing.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

Yeah, it is to just kind of aimlessly go and you know spend money. But I was there, so I was at Missouri State and I joined a fraternity my my first um semester, and through that I got to know a lot of people and um just uh started to live a life of you know going out late and sleeping through classes and um you know, just kind of directionless, I would say. Um and didn't have a strong sense of purpose um other than just wanting to like have fun and hang out with people and meet people.

SPEAKER_04 9:50

What was your degree? What were you trying to get your degree in?

SPEAKER_00 9:53

I really didn't know. I was like undecided, and then it was like general business and then a bunch of things. I was I was kind of exploring, but no nothing really ever seemed to really catch me as like this is what you're called to. I think I had some sense of wanting to do something uh special, you know, something great at the time, but not really understanding what that was. Um and I and I really lacked I lacked a lot of self-discipline too. Um so by the time I reached my third year, um I was kind of getting tired of the same old um what it what was for me my first uh couple years so exciting and new and um thrilling. Kind of became it got a little bit old, you know, just like going out all the time and um was it fulfilling anything? It was not fulfilling, and I wasn't finding that satisfaction that I was longing for. Um and I and I also I was starting to feel guilty about the way I was living too. Um so that was kind of building up and just these deeper questions about you know, why am I even here? What's even the goal of my life? Uh these kind of existential questions were settling in in a pretty profound way. Um so I was wrestling, and it was like I didn't know many people that really believed in Christianity. Like, if they did, they didn't talk about it, they didn't like make it known. Um we were all just kind of like aimless, or you know, some people were pretty like this is the degree I want to get, this is the job I want to have, you know, whatever, but it all seemed kind of like empty. You know, it's like why? Why do you want this job? You know, who cares about these things? So I had these kind of existential questions and you know, wondering about my calling in life, um, and and it and also guilt about the way I was living. So um in my third year, I um at I was at uh we called them exchanges, you know. So you did those. Yeah. So I might have even been to one of yours. Yeah, you might have been at one. So this was one uh with this sorority uh Sigma Kappa. Okay, yeah. And uh so we were at this bar and just getting to know, and uh I met this girl there who said that um, you know, I I don't remember exactly how the conversation went down, but she just kept talking about her love for Jesus. And she was there to try to like bring people into her church for sure.

SPEAKER_04 12:26

Um and but I was interested for like in that setting, yeah, bringing out Jesus, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Yeah, uh, yeah, definitely. You know, evangelical kind of church. So um that's like they're they're good about being like, we're on mission, you know, that's what with her about. So um I was talking to her, I was in a place where I really needed a change of scenery. Um, and for me to to meet someone who actually like seemed like had these strong convictions about her faith, and I was aware that you know there were people out there that were Christian and really believed and practiced. And it seemed to me that there was a certain goodness about them, but I hadn't really had that encounter, right? That like one-on-one encounter with someone and having someone invite me. So we met and I was like, I need to I need to like get involved with your church group, you know. Um and so um she like sent me back with a Bible verse, which was um Saint Paul uh from his letter to the Ephesians, um, Ephesians chapter two. And uh I don't know, I don't remember like word for word, but it was something about Saint Paul says like um we all once followed the ways of the uh the ruler of the air or something like that, you know, talking about the devil. He's like we all once followed our flesh and the ruler of the spirit of the of the world, um, but that was before we were set free by Christ. And so I read that, you know, she sent me that, and I was like, this is you know, I I'm wanting to be set free, I'm wanting to have a change. Right. And I and I kind of was at the point where I felt that that wasn't possible. I did like I just kind of thought that you are how you are, and that's just you know, you're probably not gonna be able to change much. Um and like, you know, just to take one example, you know, I I smoked cigarettes and I like wanted to quit, it was expensive, and you know, for for various reasons I was like trying to be done. I just couldn't do it. Right. You know, I was like, I kind of realized my own powerlessness through that attempt on just that small thing. Um so I was like, okay, I want to be set free from these things, and so I was given a lot of hope, and I'm like, let's try this Christianity thing out a little bit. And I met a whole group of of college students that were um they were tr striving, you know, striving to practice their faith and know Christ and and have good community that's centered on Christ. Um so I started to get in a little bit um and to start to go to uh church service on Sundays uh at this place.

SPEAKER_04 15:08

Is this a campus ministry or is this outside of the school?

SPEAKER_00 15:11

So the campus ministry was called The Vine.

SPEAKER_04 15:13

I remember that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

Yeah, it was called The Vine, and it was connected with a church called Second Baptist. Okay. Um I would go to church Second Baptist on Sundays, and then they would do something during the week.

SPEAKER_04 15:25

Um and I was trying to hang out with these Christians, but would you have call called yourself a Christian at this point, or are you just kind of like seeking? Like you weren't sure exactly what you believed. Or did you think you like you had a relationship with Jesus, you're just still searching?

SPEAKER_00 15:41

I did not have a relationship with Jesus beforehand. Okay. Um I mean, at least yeah, like I didn't understand Jesus, you know, like heard about him. Right. You know, um and you know, like I had like like my dad had given me some like a cross necklace or like um I had this little carving of the face of Jesus and I always loved it, you know. But so I mean, it wasn't that there was nothing there, but I I didn't understand much. I didn't pray or anything.

SPEAKER_04 16:12

Um and you had gotten all your sacraments?

SPEAKER_00 16:15

Just baptism.

SPEAKER_04 16:15

Just baptism.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Yeah, I had just been baptized, um Catholic.

SPEAKER_04 16:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

So um I started going to this church, and it's so very quickly, um, I kind of told them that I felt a lot of guilt about the way I was living, and and they were great. You know, they said, well, Jesus came so that your sins can be forgiven. You don't have to carry around this guilt. Um so it was kind of a really a beginning of a process of conversion and healing. Um however, um, I was still like most of the students there, like some of them had kind of had this conversion experience and were starting. Most of them there though had grown up like going to church and like being invested in the faith. So I was bringing a lot of baggage in and a lot of bad habits and a lot of, you know, you can't just change and then you know, you can have great powerful experiences, but it's hard to totally change your habits. Um, so it was it was tough for me to really be totally sold out for um Christianity, even though I would like claim, yeah, I'm Christian now and wanting to follow Christ, but I just it's it's hard to yeah, it's a lifestyle change, you know. Yeah, it's hard to totally change that. I mean, I I stopped hanging out with my fraternity friends for the most part, you know. Um so it was kind of like searching in the beginning of healing. Um but also at the same time, I had these questions, the same questions that I'd had as a as a kid about, you know, the difference between Catholicism and Protestant. And these questions started emerging, you know, and they they would have taught like this sort of, you know, you have to give yourself over to Christ. You say this prayer, and then and then you're saved. And so I started thinking, well, what about my family that's Catholic? You know, are they have they done this? They don't they don't always seem to be super on fire for it, you know. Are they saved? You know, what about these guys why further? Are they going to hell, you know, if if they don't do this? You know, in fact, at one point I was in my fraternity house and I was like, you guys need to like give your lives over to Jesus because you know, you need to get be saved, you know.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

Um and but I just said that to them.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

Uh I mean they didn't really change much, you know. It was, I mean, for them they were confused, like, I'm starting to go through this faith thing, you know, I'm trying to be different, but they know me as this other guy. So yeah, it was kind of a tricky time. And um, but but and I think those questions about Catholicism prevented me from also prevented me from getting, you know, so I the church told me to get baptized again, so I got baptized a second time. Like not, you know, I wouldn't have done anything, but um, I did that and I would talk to my dad and he's like, Well, you were already baptized, you don't need to be baptized again.

SPEAKER_04 19:05

Well, is that isn't that because like they kind of look at it as almost like a confirmation baptism because they're saying an outward like I accept this versus a sacramental.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Yeah, they don't think that the baptism actually causes the grace in your soul. They think it's like, hey, you've had this conversion, let's make this external statement of your faith. Yeah. So I did, I mean, I was like, like they had this baptismal font like up in the like, like here, if here's like the front of church, it's like up there, so you gotta go upstairs and everyone can see you and you're on all these TVs and things. Oh wow. Yeah, it was kind of bizarre. And then everyone after church was like, and they were great, they were like, Yeah, great job, you know, all these people. But I was confused. I'm like, I don't really totally understand what I just did, or you know. Um yeah, so there was a lot going on within me, questions, and um, but I I could tell that there was something better for sure that I was getting myself into. Um, whereas before I had no sense of purpose. Right. Um now it was like, all right, I'm I'm starting to find a reason for my life. And the the Baptist group, which was you know pretty evangelical, their reason is like I need to go win souls and like convert people and get people saved. So I'm like, all right, here's a mission that I have. Um but still kind of struggling, wrestling, whatever. So um after four years in Missouri State, I went to came back here, um, and I went to Lindenwood um for a few years, lived at home again. Um and uh yeah, towards the end of my time there, I mean there's kind of a lot going on within me and and what's go happening in my life, but towards the end of my time there, my dad invited me to a um Catholic Men's Conference. You know, they do these conference, uh, these conferences.

SPEAKER_04 21:02

What was the name of it? Do you remember?

SPEAKER_00 21:04

Catholic Men for Christ, I think.

SPEAKER_04 21:05

I've yeah, I've heard of those.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, this it was huge there, you know. Um, and so I go there and there's like a thousand guys or so, um, and they had these priests, they had a couple priests give talks, and these different speakers give talks, and um they talked about um the Eucharist and especially about Mary. Um, and you know, it was kind of like basic catechesis stuff, but they really like hammered it home. Um and and at that point, so this was February 2014, February 1st, I think. So I had just uh a girl I was dating at the time and I just broke up like the night beforehand. You know, I was like, this just ain't working out. And I had been dating her for like a couple years. Um so that morning I like and we part of the reason why we set we broke up was because like She said she would never want to be Christian. And I was continuing to feel this pull, like, I I think there's something more there. You know, and I even started going to Mass. Like I went to I brought this girl to Mass a couple times. I'm like, we should go check out this church. And it was here at St. Joe's.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

You know, we just were like in the back, you know. I think we left right after communion. Cause none of us neither of us received communion because we hadn't had first communion. But it was like something was like stirring within me. So I ended that relationship not really knowing what my path was. But the very next morning I was at this conference, my dad had invited me to. Um, so like the soil was really good. I'd been wrestling like my whole life with these questions, started to find some answers in the scripture, wasn't totally uh understanding of things. And then I was about to graduate college and I was just like open. The world was like open to me. Um and then I heard these talks, and especially I was struck by the talk on uh Mary, on Our Lady, which I had not heard. You know, in this Protestant church I was going to, she really wasn't mentioned. Um and for me, I think because you know, for a lot of people they struggle with the teaching on Mary. I think because if you go to a church that really hammers it, like Catholics worship Mary, it's so hard for them to overcome that deeply ingrained um misconception. But for me, I received it so naturally because I hadn't no one had talked about it against Mary. I just hadn't heard much about her. Right. And then it was presented as Mary is this, you know, like God's masterpiece of, you know, she's not God, but um full of grace, you know, the highest degree of charity possible and and love, and um, and that Mary is intended by Christ to be a mother for all of us. Um and I was so moved by that presentation and and and the Eucharist and and all these things. And because I I think because I had wrestled so much to that point, when I received the faith, um, it it went in the seed went deep in there. You know, it answered a lot of questions, and it was like, I need no more evidence, I need no more uh proofs, you know, this is the truth. Yeah. Um, I was like, I'm for sure getting my sacraments. Um so I came to St. Joe's.

SPEAKER_04 24:20

Um so this is where you got all your you got confirmed and everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

So 2014, fall, I entered the RCIA classes. Um and uh so met Monsignor Callahan, Father Gerber taught the classes there, uh, here, and so went through those and that's a long story of how I came to discover my faith.

SPEAKER_04 24:46

Yeah. So how did you go from now you're Catholic and you're probably on fire for your faith at this point? So what led you to the priesthood?

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Well, um I I I fell so much in love with the faith, uh with the church, especially with uh Our Lady. Um I was just and and and so now I I work with those, you know, with uh it's now called OCIA. You know, I I kind of accompany that ministry now. And it's cool to see that you have people that are fresh to the faith and and just so in love, and and that's where I was. And I was working at um two men in a truck, which is like a furniture movie company, and just carrying furniture all day, which, you know, for one, you have a lot of time to think because you're just walking back and forth. And for two, you're gonna think about what other than this can I be doing, you know. So just thinking about that, and um I was really mystified by the priesthood. You know, it was something that to me was very mysterious. And even from a young age, I kind of had in the back of my mind that um if I enter the church fully, I'm gonna have to be a priest, you know, and and I did not want that because I wanted to be married and, you know, have kids. But that was in the back of my mind, and and I felt that when I converted, I thought, all right, that that's there. And I just wanna, I'm so in love with the church, so in love with the faith that I just want to be open to whatever, you know. I felt like God had really done me so much good in showing me the truth and giving me this solid faith that I wanted to in return offer myself up to God. So I remember praying um at my bedside, you know, like maybe just a month after I converted. You know, I said, all right, God, if if you want me to be a priest, I'm open to that.

SPEAKER_04 26:36

How old are you at this point?

SPEAKER_00 26:38

Uh I would have been maybe 25 or so. Um 24, 25, somewhere in there. Um so I I kind of started to open myself up to the possibility, if God wanted it. Um and slowly over time, as I met priests, spoke to them, as I learned more about the faith, I came to discover, you know, to learn more about myself, you know, that I loved um learning. I loved the intellectual side of things and and learning about uh philosophy and um scripture and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 27:13

Well, you're in the right church then.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Yeah, yeah. I I and uh I thought, well, okay, if God was gonna call someone to be a priest, I think I would be um have the capacity to at least have the understanding of the faith deep enough to be able to communicate that to others. So that was just kind of like the beginnings of that. Um and more and more as I opened myself up to it, you know, a desire for it would build. Um so slowly my desire for the priesthood grew. You know, I was mystified and I just thought, okay, you know, it'd be cool if God called me to be a priest, you know, that'd be that'd be awesome. And also, you know, I just had this sense of you only get one life. You know, it's not like I get 10 lives where I can do 10 different things, you get one life, and at the end of your life, you know, you know, I thought at the end of my life, I want to look back and say that, you know, I probably failed a lot, but I gave my best, like I took my best shot. And for me, that was doing something extraordinary. Um, and I felt that the priesthood was the way to do that, you know. I married life is extraordinary too. But just for me, I thought if I want to be at the end of my life looking back, saying, I tried to give everything that I could, you know, even though I fell short. Um, so I said, okay, I'll I'll take a look. I met with our vocation director at the time, Father Chris Martin. Um now I had just received first communion and confirmation in 2015, Easter. So they wanted me to wait before entering. So I ended up actually living here at St. Joe's in the rectory um with Father with Monsignor Callahan, Father Gerber, and Father Chrismer. Um I was here for maybe eight months living, and so I got to spend a lot of time with these priests. Um and and they helped me just to kind of see the life a little bit. Um and uh entered and just kind of took it one day at a time. Even from the get-go in the seminary, my mentality was I'm here offering myself. If they tell me, which they sometimes do, that we don't think this is for you, we don't think you're called to this. I was totally fine with that. I was ready at any moment for that to be their decision.

SPEAKER_04 29:27

But then you would become you would want to become a father and uh I already had that desire anyways.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

Yeah. Um and but I just kind of entrusted it. Right. And I felt peace being there, you know, the whole time. There'd be times that were difficult, you know, times where I'm like, I don't know if I can do this, I don't want to do this.

SPEAKER_04 29:44

Um wrestling with that decision, that's a big, big decision.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Yeah, and you don't really know, you can't really know for sure what it's gonna be like. You know, you can think about I think it's gonna be like this, or you don't even know like your own gifts as as much, you know, you have a somewhat of a sense, but it's like I think I can do this, you know, but you don't really know. Um and slowly you just trust more and more in that conviction of the calling that God places on your heart. Um so amazingly, seven years of seminary and then got ordained in 2023.

SPEAKER_04 30:18

Is this your first assignment, Parish? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Yeah, first assignment, my third year in it. Uh-huh. So it's it's been great. It's been an amazing place to be a priest for the first time because um the this place is is familiar with priests, you know, they know a lot of different priests and they receive priests really well. You know, not every parish is gonna receive priests the same way, maybe because of former hurts or whatever. They may be like the priest comes in and they're like skeptical, how's this guy gonna be? Is he gonna be on my side or not? Um, I've I experienced so much openness and so much warmth and love from the people in the parish, which has made it just an amazing place to be, and um been able to like just try different things out, you know, as I learn um my own desires and my own gifts just to try things, you know, take shots and um and there's just a lot of uh support.

SPEAKER_04 31:15

That's awesome. So, what would you say to any young men out there who are discerning, whether they want to be a priest or go towards the marriage life? What would you say to those young men who are trying to decide what they want to do?

SPEAKER_00 31:29

Yeah, I think uh, you know, for the priesthood, for someone discerning the priesthood, you know, first, you know, a good principle of discernment is your own desires, you know. Is there some sort of a desire, you know, whatever that might look like? Now that has to be purified and matured as you go through the seminary. But do you have even a little bit of a desire for it? Okay, then um, you know, just be open to checking it out. There's nothing greater that can happen to someone, to a man, than that he become a priest. You know, that's a the priesthood is for eternity. Um and that's a s it's a very serious thing. It's a very serious thing to be asked by Christ to be a priest. It's not to be taken lightly, and it's not to be ignored or rejected. But if Jesus is uh placing that on your heart, um he's doing so for a reason, according to his wisdom and his own desire, and he's going to help he's going to give you the the requisite formation and the tools to be able to live that life. Um, and you want to trust in that too. So there can be a lot of doubts because the desire for marriage and family life is natural, it's built into human nature. You know, it's there, it's there in the garden, it's there from the very beginning. Marriage is essentially a component of what it means to be human. So the prospect of sacrificing that for something higher, there can be a lot of doubts as to can I be satisfied in this? Can this be fulfilling for me? And you have to understand that the priesthood itself is not going to fulfill and satisfy the longings of your heart. Only God can do that. And so whenever you're whenever you're facing, all right, I'm not going to have a wife and kids, you gotta really put that question to God. How can that desire be satisfied? Am I just supposed to say no to this? Um and and one comes to discover through praying through and wrestling with it that everything that you could find in um family life has its source and origin in God, who is infinite. You know, He can't create anything greater than Himself. He is the greatest. And so it's not that I just say no to that desire for the feminine that is in my heart. Rather, I seek that satisfaction in the very source, you know. So I'm I'm going straight to the source. Um, the infinite one, the one who is all good and all loving. And and that's where I need to be. I need to be resting in that uh knowledge and that faith and that hope that God can satisfy the longings of my heart. Once one starts to see that and to see the possibility for prayer, for deep prayer, and what that really means, then I think, you know, the celibate life, the priestly life, even you know, religious life, um the the glory of that and the uh the beauty of that starts to become apparent. Because the interior life is like, it's sort of like um uh, you know, think of like the world, you know, and and it's like there's always new places to be discovered. There's always new places in our relationship with God to be explored and found and be surprised by. Um, and and to be able to have that opportunity to dive into the interior life as a priest is uh the most important thing.

SPEAKER_04 35:05

And like looking at it also kind of like a relationship would be an a relationship is endless as to how much you can really grow close to that person and love that person, it's kind of like that as well. It's like there is no end to how close you can get to a person in a relationship, just like growing with God. But I like how you put that with the world, like exploring it and finding those new places that you've never seen and like almost like an adventure.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Yeah, God is always revealing new things and new depths. You know, you never get to the point where you're like, okay, I love God as much as I can. Right. I've reached my limit, yeah, or I I I am aware, you know, of God's love to the maximum I can be aware of it. Um, yeah, there's always more, and we're always, you know, the key to the the spiritual life is to be receiving the love of God and and that's and growing in that capacity to receive. And that's um something that's exciting. It's it's what we're made for, you know, it's that loving relationship. And yeah, similar to how like you never get to a point where you're like, oh, okay, I can't love this person any more than I do. But but a person is limited and finite, whereas God is infinite.

SPEAKER_04 36:10

Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:10

Um, so even more so with God.

SPEAKER_04 36:13

I didn't realize that you have your priesthood all the way into heaven. That's awesome. So you like will still have that role.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

Yeah, you're a priest forever. Um marriage ends at death. Um, so Christ says, you know, in in heaven they're neither married nor given in marriage. So marriage is for this life, you know, as a as a beautiful sign of God's eternal love for us. Um, a sacrament of that. But the priesthood is, you know, you're a priest forever. So you're a priest, you know, forever in heaven, or you know, in hell you're a priest forever too, which is you know a terrifying thing. But uh, yeah, it's uh it's amazing. And that's what makes holy orders and that day of ordination. You know, marriage is very powerful too, but um, but when you're at when you're there on on the marble getting ordained, it's like this is an eternal thing. You know, I I am eternally going to be um you know, a priest, conform to the heart of Christ, to the priesthood of Christ. Yeah, it is a it's an amazing thing. You can't we can't really grasp the profundity of that.

SPEAKER_04 37:26

That's awesome. So, what would you say is your absolute favorite thing about being a priest? And then I'm gonna ask you what your least favorite thing is.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

Okay. Um, my favorite thing about being a priest is um uh it's it's hard to narrow it down because I there's so much about it that I love.

SPEAKER_04 37:44

Um I love to say your golf cart, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 37:48

That's good too. You know, that's more of a common way. Yeah. Um there's so much that I love. You know, um your relationship with people is different as a priest. There's a certain deeper connection that you have as a priest with your people, um, as like the spiritual father, that like once you're once you're ordained, you just like feel it right away. You know, so you go to the school and there's a certain like trust, and there's a certain like, this guy is a priest, you know, it doesn't matter who I am, but it's like this is a priest and everything he represents. And the same thing with the relationships that I have with, you know, families here in the parish, that I'm with them as and as you know, hopefully that's seen as this, and hopefully, you know, I'm wanting to see it like this, but I'm there as a sacrament of Christ, a sign of Christ Himself. Um so having that relationship change, and and there's a certain love, there's a way that I'm called to love people that is unique, it's open, you know, it's not exclusive, it's open, but it really is a a love. You know, like I'm called to be the love of Christ towards others. And so to be able to, you know, I I I fail in that every day, but to be able to um love people as a priest is is really a gift. But I would say my favorite thing is just the fact that when I go to pray, when I'm with God in prayer, I'm there as a priest. You know, I'm I'm with Mary as a priest. And and there's a unique, there's a uniqueness to the relationship that you have with Christ and with Mary as a priest. That's a real privilege, and it's um something that none of us is worthy of.

SPEAKER_04 39:34

Wow. It's amazing. I love that. Especially how you talk about Mary makes me like I've I feel that special connection with Mary. So when you talk about her, it it feels like we have this oneness as Catholics, like she is our mother. Like, so that like bond that you and I have with with the fact that we have this mother together. Like, I know I like feel that with how you're speaking about her specifically. Okay, so what's your least favorite part about being a priest?

SPEAKER_00 40:03

Oh, yeah, okay, least favorite part. Um I think that um hmm. Well, I'm I'm the type of person that I like to um explore a little bit. Um I would love to see what it's like to live in like different parts of the world or just different parts of the United States. You know, I've committed myself to the Archdiocese of St. Louis, and I love I love the Archdiocese, I love being here, but by making that choice, you you're you don't have the freedom to decide where you live anymore. Um and so there's been times where I'm like, man, I would love to move down to like Phoenix or you know, somewhere warm. Um but but we have opportunity to travel, and so I have some friends that I've traveled with. But uh yeah, you you're committing yourself to one location and and you're you're foregoing the freedom to be able to decide. Even even like um within the archdire, I can't be like, hey, you know, this would be a good opportunity for ministry. I'm just gonna go do that. I'm submitting myself to the archbishop and where he wants me to go. Right. There's a freedom in not being able to make that decision, but when you sometimes you have this desire, man, I would love to go.

SPEAKER_04 41:11

That's human nature, you know.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

Yeah, and you and you can relate these things to them and and see if you know maybe there's a possibility for that, but ultimately you're giving that up.

SPEAKER_03 41:20

Right.

SPEAKER_04 41:21

Okay, so my final question is gonna be a rapid fire questions. All right. So you just answer with one word. All right, so cat or dog?

SPEAKER_00 41:32

Uh if it's a pug. Oh, okay. Um, sorry, you said one word.

SPEAKER_04 41:36

Well, I can go ahead and elaborate. I'm kind of curious of what you said. Only pugs.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

I have a ranking system. It goes pugs, bulldogs, all cats, every other dog, and then the very bottom is a lab.

SPEAKER_04 41:48

Oh, you've thought of this. I have thought of this. The very bottom's lab.

SPEAKER_00 41:51

Lab is the worst thing. Oh, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 41:53

That's what I have.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

You have a life.

SPEAKER_04 41:54

They shed really bad. So I get why you're I mean, there's other reasons to drool and stuff, but they're cute, cuddly, very lovable.

SPEAKER_00 42:02

But people love them. And maybe that's why I don't love them.

SPEAKER_04 42:06

They're like too cute.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

They're generic. Yeah. I feel like they're generic.

SPEAKER_04 42:10

Oh classic, you gotta lab. Like everybody's gonna be a big thing.

SPEAKER_00 42:12

Pug is the best, cutest dog out there. They're cute. They're cute.

SPEAKER_04 42:15

I don't know much about them, but they kind of snort, don't they?

SPEAKER_00 42:18

They snort, they can barely breathe.

SPEAKER_04 42:19

It's hilarious on me. Yeah, I do like pugs. All right, so you have a ranking system. That's yeah. I thought you were just gonna say one or the other. Like, all right, so if you could relive high school or college, which one would you relive?

SPEAKER_00 42:33

College ten times. Yeah, high school was not that fun, but college was I would do it very differently, of course.

SPEAKER_04 42:38

Nothing against Fords and Wall West.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Nothing against the Wall West. My sister teaches there. Yeah. My mom taught there when I was there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:45

What's your sist sister teaching?

SPEAKER_00 42:47

She teaches history. Okay and my mom taught uh English and like creative writing and Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_04 42:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 42:53

Um, so yeah, high school was not nearly as fun to me. You know, the freedom in college of being able to go around, right, do what you want, and yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:02

We probably passed each other, honestly, like in the halls. Glass or wherever we were having class. So all right. So baseball or hockey?

SPEAKER_00 43:11

Hockey. So you're a blues fan. Yeah, big blue. I like both. Okay. But I think hockey is an amazing sport. It's incredible. It's hockey is like hockey combines elements of many sports into one. You know, it's like like soccer, you have goalies and nets, you know. Like baseball, you have sticks. Yeah, it's true. Like football, there's like checking. Like basketball is five on five.

unknown 43:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:35

Plus the goalie. Um boxing. And it's like similar size as basketball. Like boxing, you know, there's fist fights. Yeah. Um, it's got a lot of elements of many things. And yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:45

You gotta give respect to hockey players. I mean, they they're probably one of the most intense athletes out there.

unknown 43:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:51

Then like rugby. Rugby gets it's intense. They don't even wear pads.

SPEAKER_00 43:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:56

And they're doing it.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

Yeah, it is a it is crazy. And I and I I love seeing. And the blues operate, I yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:02

I would be it's like a synchronized like dance to the way that they flow up and down the court. It's amazing how they pass. Like as an athlete watching a sport I don't play and how it go how it goes up and down the court. Well, I played on a court, but their rink, it's so fascinating to see how they know where each other's gonna be and how they pass. It's I give hockey players a lot of props. Okay, so book or movie?

SPEAKER_00 44:28

Um it's hard. I I like both a lot. Um I would probably have to go with book.

SPEAKER_04 44:39

Okay. Yeah. If you seem like you're on a fence, like you're gonna do that. I'm on the fence for sure.

SPEAKER_00 44:44

I like movies too, for sure. It like if it's okay, so if it's fiction, I probably go with movie, actually. Um I don't read a ton of fiction, I do sometimes, but um but it's in terms of like nonfiction, like you know, I like spiritual reading and philip philosophy and stuff like that. Definitely you can't really get that in movies. Right. But um, yeah, I like so so my mother and I both uh like Shakespeare a lot, and so I've been on a kick of watching a lot of Shakespeare movies lately.

SPEAKER_04 45:15

So um That's interesting. Never would have guessed.

SPEAKER_00 45:18

Yeah, yeah, I've been watching these kind of oddball movies.

SPEAKER_04 45:21

I remember watching those in high school. They like make you watch some of the Shakespeare stuff.

SPEAKER_00 45:26

I don't even remember any, but I didn't have a clue what was going on in Shakespeare in high school, but I started to like it.

SPEAKER_04 45:32

Alright, so are you early bird or night owl?

SPEAKER_00 45:36

I c uh definitely more of a night owl. I like the morning. I like the morning a lot, but I'll sleep, I'll sleep in if I can. Yeah. You know. Um but really I I like morning, I like night. Afternoons I don't like.

SPEAKER_04 45:48

You don't like the afternoons?

SPEAKER_00 45:50

Yeah, that's what I'm at my worst.

SPEAKER_04 45:52

Alright. Are you introvert or extrovert? Or maybe somewhere in between?

SPEAKER_00 45:57

I think uh I'm pretty extroverted, I would say. You know, some people are surprised by that, but um I like to go out, I like to be with people a lot, you know. Um that's kind of my natural inclination. Okay. But that's not a super, you know, more than that, I I care about like I can be, I can be by myself or I can be with people as long as there's like something interesting to like learn or talk about. Um so for me it's more about what's what am I doing in in those times?

SPEAKER_04 46:28

Yeah. I mean everybody's their alone time, but yeah. Usually you veer towards one or the other of like extra extrovert, introvert. Okay, so who is the best cook at the rectory?

SPEAKER_00 46:40

No, that's not even close. It's Father uh Fisher.

SPEAKER_04 46:43

It's not, I mean, it's uh Yeah, I already knew the answer, but I wanted to hear it from you to see who who it was because he might have said he was the best cook, but I just want to hear if you thought that as well.

SPEAKER_00 46:53

Yeah, I mean it's not even close.

SPEAKER_04 46:56

It's it's it's not even said he cooks like the meals, you guys are like so down for that, and then like you guys do the cleaning up the dishes.

SPEAKER_00 47:05

Father Martin has made some great things too. I'm I'm like I'm like so Father Fish is like way up here. Okay. And Father Martin, he does I uh he doesn't have quite the um expans of uh things that he does, but he's made some great things too, and I'm like ramen noodle. I'm like, yeah, I'm I'm totally worth so I I used to go to the um when I was at seminar, I'd go to the missionaries of charity um on a weekly basis to help with the soup kitchen. And uh they wouldn't even let me get in the kitchen. You know, I tried a couple times to like help cut carrots and stuff, and they would just like laugh at me.

SPEAKER_04 47:38

They're like, we'll we'll take it from here.

SPEAKER_00 47:40

I would serve the food, you know, and just like talk to the people. Yeah. Um but yeah, I I'm just I don't know why. I'm not like crafty at all. Whatever part of the brain that is that controls that, I'm missing that part.

unknown 47:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:52

That's right, you got Father Fisher to help you out there, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 47:55

So all right.

SPEAKER_04 47:56

Well, thank you for doing this. I'm I'm glad we were able to sit down and have this conversation. And well, if if people see this podcast, I hope they come up to you in church and bring up some topics that we talked about.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 48:08

Maybe they'll you said you wanted to learn golf, so if there's anybody that wants to take you out, give you some golf lessons. So all right. Well, thank you very much. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 48:17

Yep, my pleasure. Thank you.